She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
