dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
