so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
