But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
