Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
