So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
