I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
