I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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