i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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