i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
