apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
