i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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