I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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