I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
