So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize