Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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