carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
