If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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