I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
