Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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