Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize