I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
