yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize