so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
