honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
