We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
