I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
