I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
