If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
