put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
