cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
