I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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