the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
try to milk me bitch
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
