so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
