I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
