Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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