Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
