problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
