32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize