he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
