he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
