Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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