he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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