i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
