God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
