My nipple is on Facebook.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
