You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
