where am i from again
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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