just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
