so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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