he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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