No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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