i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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