just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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