i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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