Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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