just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
