Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
