Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
