I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
