so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
do herpes really smell.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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