Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
